In order to guide you through the messy, complicated, and emotionally intense journey of divorce, you need a lawyer to help represent you and serve as a mediating force between you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse. In addition to knowing Tennessee divorce law like the back of their hand, a good divorce attorney needs to be clued in on the unique considerations of your current marital situation and your future needs post-divorce to help guide you two to a truly fair and equitable post-divorce paradigm.
If you have a family member with divorce court experience, you might think you’ve hit the jackpot—someone who is very well acquainted with both divorce law and you and your family. But is enlisting a cousin, sibling, or other relative as your legal representation in a divorce case a good idea—and is it even legal in Tennessee?
Making the right decision regarding your divorce attorney is a crucial step in planning for a divorce. Choose an appropriate attorney, and you’ll have a smoother and more amicable divorce process. Choose an attorney whose unique sets of skills and experience don’t align with your situation, though, and you could end up with just more headaches upon headaches. In this article, we’ll answer both of the above questions, starting with the latter:
Is it legal for a family member to represent you in divorce court?
Let’s get this out of the way first: If your divorce is going to court, you have two options: being formally represented by a licensed attorney, or representing yourself. (And as good old Honest Abe said, “The man who represents himself has a fool for a client.”) If you want someone to formally represent you in court, they need to have an active license to practice law.
Let’s say you do have a family member who does, in fact, practice law. What about then?
Ask any lawyer what their favorite movie about the legal profession is, and you’re likely to find My Cousin Vinny—an endearing comedy about two boys falsely accused of murder enlisting the help of their titular cousin to beat the charges. While the movie is praised for its relative accuracy (especially compared to representations of court proceedings elsewhere in film and television), you might be wondering—even if they are a licensed attorney, doesn’t having a family member represent you in court present a conflict of interest?
In this case, the movie was spot-on: A relative who is also a licensed attorney can represent you in court. In Tennessee, this includes divorce court. Your lawyer can be family, a friend, or have any other personal relationship with you—as long as they are licensed to practice law and know how to avoid the ethical issues that might crop up from being related to their client.
So, the answer is yes— a family member who practices law in Tennessee can formally represent you in divorce court. (Family members who don’t can also act as moral support in court, but they can’t function as legal counsel.)
Now that the more important question of “can you?” is answered, we need to tackle the next question: should you?
Is it a good idea to make a family member your divorce attorney?
The idea of having a family member represent you in court is an enticing one. No one knows you like family does, after all. However, while hiring a family member who practices law is permissible in Tennessee divorce courts, and there are some benefits to having an attorney who knows your situation and your goals for divorce proceedings like family, there are trade-offs as well. While it isn’t a deal-breaking conflict of interest to be represented by family,
Let’s start with the advantages:
What are the benefits of having family serve as your divorce attorney?
First off, having your cousin Vinny represent you in divorce court means you might feel more comfortable and open to discussing sensitive or personal matters, compared to a lawyer you don’t personally know. There is a preexisting bond of trust that can enhance attorney-client communication and ensure all of the relevant details about your marital situation and goals for divorce court are shared and addressed.
On a similar note, a family member might already be familiar with your personal and financial circumstances, so they can grasp the nuances of your case and understand your unique considerations, needs, and desires more quickly and with less of a need for extensive background information.
A family member might also be more personally invested in your case or might be more amenable to working with you beyond office hours. Of course, a lot of people fantasize about hiring the lawyers in their family in the hopes of receiving reduced-cost or pro-bono representation, and that is certainly possible as well (though, on the other hand, don’t act surprised if your divorce lawyer cousin doesn’t want to do hours upon hours of hard legal work for you for the low, low cost of free).
On the other hand, having a family member who is a licensed attorney represent you in divorce court comes with disadvantages, as well:
Why shouldn’t you let family represent you in divorce court?
Having a family member serve as your formal legal counsel presents no shortage of ethical pitfalls and conflict-of-interest issues.
First and foremost is the biggest elephant in the room: your cousin Vinny’s personal relationship with you can cloud their professional judgment, getting in the way of maintaining their professional distance and providing unbiased legal advice and representation. For example, your lawyer might bend under pressure to seek a solution that prioritizes family harmony over the fairest and most equitable outcome.
On top of that, there’s the significant emotional strain that can come from bringing family deeper into your divorce proceedings. Involving your law-practicing family member in court proceedings means they could have to cross-examine family members or close acquaintances in the opposing party, which can lead to uncomfortable or biased interactions and ultimately create new tensions or conflicts in your family.
On top of that, your cousin Vinny has to be especially careful about avoiding breaches in their strict ethical guidelines as a lawyer, which is made all the more difficult by dealing with family in court. Representing family members can risk confidential information being unintentionally disclosed or used inappropriately.
Herd all these elephants in the room together and you can end up with some serious potential for legal malpractice: if your attorney fails to provide adequate representation due to personal bias or emotional involvement with your divorce case, they can end up with a malpractice claim against them.
There are benefits to having a close relative act as your attorney, but there are some very high risks to contend with as well—to your case, to your family dynamic, and potentially even to your relative’s career as an attorney. You don’t want to risk putting your cousin Vinny through all that, do you?
How to Trust a Divorce Attorney to Handle Your Case
We understand why the idea of having family represent you in divorce court is so appealing. Family law, and divorce especially so, is ultimately a deeply personal matter. Baring your interpersonal struggles to a stranger is a daunting and uncomfortable prospect. The idea of having a family member take your case promises a sympathetic ear from somebody who is prepared to bring compassion and empathy to your situation and advocate passionately for what you believe is a fair and equitable resolution.
But a great divorce attorney should already provide that sympathetic ear, compassion, and legal expertise—and with none of the thorny issues of ethical concerns and conflict of interest that can potentially mire a divorce case if you choose a close relative to represent you. A great attorney should be somebody you feel comfortable talking about your needs and goals with, even for a situation as stressful as divorce.
At MHPS Law, our legal team has dedicated itself to providing personal attention, honest advice, and expert representation to clients across Tennessee. Schedule a consultation with us online or call (404) 233-9800 and find out how easy we are to talk to.
